Made in .be
I've had some complaints lately on the fact that I've been bashing my home country. Apparently some people still like the place. Well, lets see if I can come up with something positive. I should probably get an unbiased observer in...
Julius Caesar said: "Gallia est omnis divisa in partes tres, quarum unam incolunt Belgae, aliam Aquitani, tertiam qui ipsorum lingua Celtae, nostra Galli appellantur. Horum omnium fortissimi sunt Belgae, propterea quod a cultu atque humanitate provinciae longissime absunt, minimeque ad eos mercatores saepe commeant atque ea quae ad effeminandos animos pertinent important, proximique sunt Germanis, qui trans Rhenum incolunt, quibuscum continenter bellum gerunt. "
So we've established that the Belgians were the bravest, fiercest warriors amongst the Gaules (because we were the furthest away from any civilized spot...). Well, in fairness, old Jules has been dead for over 2000 years, we might want to find someone a bit younger...
What does General de Gaulle, one of the great leaders of 20th-century France, make of the place?
"Belgium is an invention of the English to annoy the French."
Okay, maybe I should find somebody else... (He was, in fact, right. Belgium was invented by the English in the niniteenth century to stop the French from fighting the Germans. Not that we were a big help...)
Bill Bryson has visited about every country in the world. Lets hear what he thinks of it.
"As countries go, Belgium is a curiosity. It's not one nation at all, but two: northern Dutch-speaking Flanders and southern French-speaking Wallonia. The southern half possesses the most outstanding scenery, the prettiest villages, the best gastronomy and, withal, a Gallic knack for living well, while the north has the finest cities, the most outstanding museums and churches, the ports, the coastal resorts, the bulk of the population and most of the money."
So far so good, seems like a nice place, lets read on then...
"The Flemings can't stand the Walloons and the Walloons can't stand the Flemings, but when you talk to them a little you realize that what holds them together is an even deeper disdain for the French and the Dutch."
Oops, I fear the shit may have hit the fan there... Okay, maybe I should try to come up with something myself...
Like Bill Bryson says there are some pretty nice towns in Belgium: Brugge, Gent en Menen. Outstanding churches would be de Kapuccinekerke, de Grwutte Kerke, Sint-Jang en ‘t Achterkappelleke.
We had the first railway on the continent: the first train ever in Europe went from Brussels to Antwerp in 1831.
Oh, and what about beer? We're pretty good at that. InBev is the biggest brewery in the world and home of Stella Artois, probably the best beer in the world. All in all, Belgium has a few hundred different beers. Don't take my word for it: ask Michael Jackson. We’ve Duvel, Leffe en many more…
Well, if we're going to include beer, we have to include French fries. Off course the French claim they invented them, but even if they did, we perfected them...
Cheese! For every beer in Belgium, there's a cheese. You do the math... And we have the best chocolate in the world, you can't argue with that...
Since jazz originated in the States, you Yankees probably think you had something to do with the saxophone. Think again: the saxophone is Belgian and invented by Adolphe Sax . And of course we had the bard of mothern time: Mister Jacques Brel. His timeless songs have been covered by various artists, including Ol’ Blue Eyes himself. More recently, Belgians invented the new wave and electro-music, with such bands as Praga Khan and Front 242. And of course, our other Belgian bard, Arno, has been knighted (albeit in France, we’re NOT very good at spotting talent…).
We have actors in Hollywood: Jean-Claude Vandamme, the next Governor of California and Ronny Coutteurre, the friend of Indiana Jones in “Young Indy”…
Oh, and we know how to paint a pretty picture: the Flemish Primitives, Rubens , Delvaux , Ensor, Permeke and Magritte (who painted a very poor version of William Tell, as you can see). The more modern painters tended to be surrealists, but they would off course, being from Belgium. We’re only about 11 million, Belgium is about 30.000 square km and yet we need six (6!) governments to run the place… We’ve always been good at politics. We’re responsible for the cold war, since Karl Marx wrote his Communist Manifesto in Brussels, Paul-Henri Spaak was the first secretary-general of the UN and was shitting his pants at the time (Nous avons peur) and we practically invented the European Union as it exists today…
What about the Smurfs? The jolly little blue fellows are Belgian. And TinTin and Nero , the longest running comic in history (It's in the Guinness Book of Records)...
So all in all:
It’s a not so bad, it’s a nice a place, NOW SHUDUPPA YUR FACE (music and lyrics:J.Dulce)
I've had some complaints lately on the fact that I've been bashing my home country. Apparently some people still like the place. Well, lets see if I can come up with something positive. I should probably get an unbiased observer in...
Julius Caesar said: "Gallia est omnis divisa in partes tres, quarum unam incolunt Belgae, aliam Aquitani, tertiam qui ipsorum lingua Celtae, nostra Galli appellantur. Horum omnium fortissimi sunt Belgae, propterea quod a cultu atque humanitate provinciae longissime absunt, minimeque ad eos mercatores saepe commeant atque ea quae ad effeminandos animos pertinent important, proximique sunt Germanis, qui trans Rhenum incolunt, quibuscum continenter bellum gerunt. "
So we've established that the Belgians were the bravest, fiercest warriors amongst the Gaules (because we were the furthest away from any civilized spot...). Well, in fairness, old Jules has been dead for over 2000 years, we might want to find someone a bit younger...
What does General de Gaulle, one of the great leaders of 20th-century France, make of the place?
"Belgium is an invention of the English to annoy the French."
Okay, maybe I should find somebody else... (He was, in fact, right. Belgium was invented by the English in the niniteenth century to stop the French from fighting the Germans. Not that we were a big help...)
Bill Bryson has visited about every country in the world. Lets hear what he thinks of it.
"As countries go, Belgium is a curiosity. It's not one nation at all, but two: northern Dutch-speaking Flanders and southern French-speaking Wallonia. The southern half possesses the most outstanding scenery, the prettiest villages, the best gastronomy and, withal, a Gallic knack for living well, while the north has the finest cities, the most outstanding museums and churches, the ports, the coastal resorts, the bulk of the population and most of the money."
So far so good, seems like a nice place, lets read on then...
"The Flemings can't stand the Walloons and the Walloons can't stand the Flemings, but when you talk to them a little you realize that what holds them together is an even deeper disdain for the French and the Dutch."
Oops, I fear the shit may have hit the fan there... Okay, maybe I should try to come up with something myself...
Like Bill Bryson says there are some pretty nice towns in Belgium: Brugge, Gent en Menen. Outstanding churches would be de Kapuccinekerke, de Grwutte Kerke, Sint-Jang en ‘t Achterkappelleke.
We had the first railway on the continent: the first train ever in Europe went from Brussels to Antwerp in 1831.
Oh, and what about beer? We're pretty good at that. InBev is the biggest brewery in the world and home of Stella Artois, probably the best beer in the world. All in all, Belgium has a few hundred different beers. Don't take my word for it: ask Michael Jackson. We’ve Duvel, Leffe en many more…
Well, if we're going to include beer, we have to include French fries. Off course the French claim they invented them, but even if they did, we perfected them...
Cheese! For every beer in Belgium, there's a cheese. You do the math... And we have the best chocolate in the world, you can't argue with that...
Since jazz originated in the States, you Yankees probably think you had something to do with the saxophone. Think again: the saxophone is Belgian and invented by Adolphe Sax . And of course we had the bard of mothern time: Mister Jacques Brel. His timeless songs have been covered by various artists, including Ol’ Blue Eyes himself. More recently, Belgians invented the new wave and electro-music, with such bands as Praga Khan and Front 242. And of course, our other Belgian bard, Arno, has been knighted (albeit in France, we’re NOT very good at spotting talent…).
We have actors in Hollywood: Jean-Claude Vandamme, the next Governor of California and Ronny Coutteurre, the friend of Indiana Jones in “Young Indy”…
Oh, and we know how to paint a pretty picture: the Flemish Primitives, Rubens , Delvaux , Ensor, Permeke and Magritte (who painted a very poor version of William Tell, as you can see). The more modern painters tended to be surrealists, but they would off course, being from Belgium. We’re only about 11 million, Belgium is about 30.000 square km and yet we need six (6!) governments to run the place… We’ve always been good at politics. We’re responsible for the cold war, since Karl Marx wrote his Communist Manifesto in Brussels, Paul-Henri Spaak was the first secretary-general of the UN and was shitting his pants at the time (Nous avons peur) and we practically invented the European Union as it exists today…
What about the Smurfs? The jolly little blue fellows are Belgian. And TinTin and Nero , the longest running comic in history (It's in the Guinness Book of Records)...
So all in all:
It’s a not so bad, it’s a nice a place, NOW SHUDUPPA YUR FACE (music and lyrics:J.Dulce)
