Young and Catholic
Que?
I bet you all got them before, those worthless junk-emails about free loans, free degrees, free cars, free whatevers. Now some of them really make me wonder.
Today I received a mail from the people of L'Oreal ('cause I'm worth it!!) about free shampoo... Dear Mr. and Mrs. L'Oreal, could I kindly suggest you to go and fuck yourselfs... I've been going baldly where no man has gone before since I was sixteen. Do send me some free razorblades so I can shave my skull and slit your wrists. Thank you.
Another urban myth I want to tackle: although there won't be much word to mouth to prove the following statement: I am not in any way impaired in the hanging department. I appreciate you all want to give me a few inches more, but as Hulla says: "An enormous cock is just a pain in the arse".
And last but not least: the meet-hot-singles-tonight-mails. Yes, I'm single. I can live with it, I'm not sure I could live with you, so bugger off. And I always get invited to meet fat chicks... What is that? First of all: I get vertigo when if I am high up. Second of all: I wouldn't want to burn my arse on the lightbulb. So please: anybody with a BMI above 40: get a live, you sure as hell ain't getting mine!
But the best one I've got: Young and Catholic. Young and Catholic? What do you take me for? A Catholic priest? If a girl thinks I'll be interested in organized religion, she is definitely barking up the wrong tree. Take a hike, Marie Magdalene.
Que?
I bet you all got them before, those worthless junk-emails about free loans, free degrees, free cars, free whatevers. Now some of them really make me wonder.
Today I received a mail from the people of L'Oreal ('cause I'm worth it!!) about free shampoo... Dear Mr. and Mrs. L'Oreal, could I kindly suggest you to go and fuck yourselfs... I've been going baldly where no man has gone before since I was sixteen. Do send me some free razorblades so I can shave my skull and slit your wrists. Thank you.
Another urban myth I want to tackle: although there won't be much word to mouth to prove the following statement: I am not in any way impaired in the hanging department. I appreciate you all want to give me a few inches more, but as Hulla says: "An enormous cock is just a pain in the arse".
And last but not least: the meet-hot-singles-tonight-mails. Yes, I'm single. I can live with it, I'm not sure I could live with you, so bugger off. And I always get invited to meet fat chicks... What is that? First of all: I get vertigo when if I am high up. Second of all: I wouldn't want to burn my arse on the lightbulb. So please: anybody with a BMI above 40: get a live, you sure as hell ain't getting mine!
But the best one I've got: Young and Catholic. Young and Catholic? What do you take me for? A Catholic priest? If a girl thinks I'll be interested in organized religion, she is definitely barking up the wrong tree. Take a hike, Marie Magdalene.
Now excuse me, I'm gonna read the genuine mail I've got (all two of them..)
I get get quite ennoyed (this is just a small understatement) by those porn emails who slip through my SPAM-guard (all the same kind : f**kfatbigmama .com oopsy delete the space before the dot). If I would have the slightest interest in this subject, I can find me a fat big mama without the help of the net : Jobstown, Killinarden & Springfield are close enough.
Posted by
Anonymous |
27 July, 2006 14:48