Resolution time again...
So today I'm back at work and everybody -I do mean everybody- seems to have started a diet. Fair enough, more Belgian chocolate for me. Everybody is running, counting Weight Watcher-points and not smoking. Would you please stop counting, stuff your face and get back to your daily fix of nicotine? It will make the world, my world, a much happier place. You need these things in order to be happy. You are (as am I) a fat, overnurtured, cranky, rich Western pig. So act like one: your ideal diet is about 35% more calories than you actually need. Look at me.
Do I have any New Yearsresolution I want to keep? As if... I don't smoke anyway (except cigars on New Years Eve, thanks Dafke). You think I'm chubby? Live with it, I do. I might do some sports, if I feel like it. And as to eating less: if tomorrow everything tastes like beans in tomato-sauce, I will consider it. But as long as there are oysters, chocolates, salmon, shoarma's at four am, Belgian fries, Guinness, lambfilets, Chateau Lafitte-Monteuil, seafood platters and 16-year old Black Bush to be inserted into my oral opening, it's just not going to happen. I'm a hedonist: I want loads of goodies and I want them now and I don't care if it will cost me about two years of life expectancy: I can afford it because I was born in the northwestern hemisphere! Some doctor will invent me a pill, so I will get those two years in the end anyway!
And now it's time for my 2 o'clock coffee-break and my Kinder Bueno.
So today I'm back at work and everybody -I do mean everybody- seems to have started a diet. Fair enough, more Belgian chocolate for me. Everybody is running, counting Weight Watcher-points and not smoking. Would you please stop counting, stuff your face and get back to your daily fix of nicotine? It will make the world, my world, a much happier place. You need these things in order to be happy. You are (as am I) a fat, overnurtured, cranky, rich Western pig. So act like one: your ideal diet is about 35% more calories than you actually need. Look at me.
Do I have any New Yearsresolution I want to keep? As if... I don't smoke anyway (except cigars on New Years Eve, thanks Dafke). You think I'm chubby? Live with it, I do. I might do some sports, if I feel like it. And as to eating less: if tomorrow everything tastes like beans in tomato-sauce, I will consider it. But as long as there are oysters, chocolates, salmon, shoarma's at four am, Belgian fries, Guinness, lambfilets, Chateau Lafitte-Monteuil, seafood platters and 16-year old Black Bush to be inserted into my oral opening, it's just not going to happen. I'm a hedonist: I want loads of goodies and I want them now and I don't care if it will cost me about two years of life expectancy: I can afford it because I was born in the northwestern hemisphere! Some doctor will invent me a pill, so I will get those two years in the end anyway!
And now it's time for my 2 o'clock coffee-break and my Kinder Bueno.
