Waiting for a dream

Ahern calls on Blair to accelerate military reduction
Ian Paisleys remarks may jeopardize process

The Taoiseach, Mr Ahern, has personally urged the British Prime Minister, Mr Tony Blair, to speedily move on demilitarisation to enhance the prospects of Sinn Féin and the DUP signing off on a deal to restore devolution. Meanwhile, Ian Paisley seems determined not to back down.

Ahern made a number of phonecalls to Mr. Blair over recent days to impress upon him that rapid demilitarisation would be a major component in persuading republicans to endorse a deal to restore devolution, according to well-placed sources. The Taoiseach took the initiative because of a Sinn Féin concern that in the initial stages of the potential deal on offer republicans would be seen to be making the concessions and the DUP the political gains, sources said.

"The IRA needs to be humiliated," Ian Paisley said in the DUP heartland of Ballymena on Saturday where a BBC team filmed his speech which was broadcast last night. "And they need to wear their sackcloth and ashes, not in a backroom but openly. And we have no apology to make for the stand we are taking," added Dr Paisley. "I say look at the heartache the IRA has brought to the countless homes across the province. The pride of republicans cannot be allowed to prevent progress any longer."

The British and Irish governments last night refused to comment on Dr Paisley's remarks. A Sinn Féin spokesman said that it was obvious that Dr Paisley's comments "were not helpful". He refused to say whether they would seriously undermine the efforts to secure a political deal. "I don't think you would need to be a republican activist to know how republicans would react."

Spokespersons for the Taoiseach and British Prime Minister said it was a matter for Dr Paisley to explain his remarks. This will cause concern however, notwithstanding the fact that Dr Paisley was pitching his comments to a hardline audience, and that frequently ahead of historic compromise leaders make apparently uncompromising speeches to their political base.

Mr Ahern, in a speech in Trinity College Dublin recently, emphasised that seeking to "humiliate" republicans would damage the efforts to strike a deal.

Last week the Sinn Féin president, Mr Gerry Adams, admonished the DUP deputy leader Mr Peter Robinson for a reference to republican "gangsters". Mr Adams said if the DUP was serious about a deal it should at least try to be civil and temperate in its choice of language.
Yesterday's symbolically significant first official meeting between the PSNI chief constable, Mr Hugh Orde, and Mr Adams in Downing Street to discuss demilitarisation was organised by Mr Blair at the request of the Taoiseach, it is understood. Mr Adams said afterwards that demilitarisation, in republican heartlands particularly, was essential. Mr Ahern and Mr Blair will hear today the Sinn Féin and DUP responses to the governments' blueprint for restoring the Northern Executive and Assembly. A Sinn Féin delegation led by Mr Adams will meet Mr Blair in Downing Street either tomorrow or on Thursday.

Posted by Bietje at Tuesday, November 30, 2004 | Permalink | Comments

Al Quaeda loses prime unit in failed suicide-attack
Next wave of attackers are being intercepted

A mass beaching has killed 80 whales and dolphins on a beach on King Island in Bass Strait, Australia. Rescue teams are now desperately trying to stop another group from becoming stranded. The dead animals, 55 long-fin pilot whales and 25 bottlenose dolphins, stranded on Sea Elephant Bay on the east side of the island. Baby whales were among the dead.

Warwick Brennan, a spokesman for Tasmania's Department of Primary Industry, Water and Environment, said a further group of about 20 whales had now been spotted a few hundred metres offshore. They appeared to be alive and moving freely and a whale rescue team would try to stop them joining the animals on the beach, he said.

"The team will be using boats to try to shepherd them away from the beach out into deeper water."

Mr Brennan said the success of the rescue would depend on the condition of the animals and the depth of the water. He said it was not unusual for bottlenose dolphins and pilot whales to be seen together as they fed on similar foods.

A year ago a mass stranding of the same species occurred on Tasmania's west coast. Locals first noticed the stranded animals yesterday afternoon and have pitched in to help try to save them. Late last night, local police herded 30 dolphins and 12 whales out to sea. The animals were last seen around 11.15pm (AEDT) swimming in a northerly direction, one nautical mile from shore.

American president George Bush issued a statement announcing that he is appalled by the new Al Quaeda-tactics to launch suicide-whales against one of his main allies. Therefore he has ordered the US Marine to kill all whales and dolphins on sight. The animals are being located by Americas top-satellites and eliminated upon detection with state-of-the-art Tomahawk-missiles launched from the nearest US battle-cruiser. Killed animals will be collected by American Captain Iglo and used to ease the hunger in Sudan.

George Bush is currently reviewing a report in which the CIA speculates on the domestication of houseflies by Al Quaeda. The organization uses the insects to spread diseases. A top S.W.A.T.-unit of approximately 200 agents has been equipped with Fly-swatters to exterminate the insects as soon as possible. Rumours in the Pentagon are that doves may be next on the list.

Posted by Bietje at Monday, November 29, 2004 | Permalink | Comments

I dumped her!

She kept stealing my fridgemagnets and thought I wouldn't notice. Well, du'uh!

Posted by Bietje at Monday, November 29, 2004 | Permalink | Comments

Posted by Bietje at Friday, November 26, 2004 | Permalink | Comments

Posted by Bietje at Friday, November 26, 2004 | Permalink | Comments

Dear John-letter

Dear John,


for years I've been a great admirer. Your peculiar way of serving, your touch at the net, your hair-do, your profanity. I even prefer you to Sue Barker these days.

But yesterday I felt truly blessed. For the first time in my life I could feel your Spirit coming over me. One of the voices in my head (the It's Thursday, I didn't sleep, leave me alone-voice) was touched by your hand and kept yelling:

"Oh my God. You cannot be serious. I am surrounded by idiots!"

No, really. The stupidity of some people has no ending. At the end of the day I had a vague taste of chalkdust in my mouth.

Thanks for touching me, oh great master.

Yours faithfully,

ton petit cochon.

Posted by Bietje at Friday, November 26, 2004 | Permalink | Comments

A bit of Oirish Coltior

Off course there is loads to say on Irish culture. The country produced four Nobel Literature Prize-winners. But there's more...

I haven't read Joyce's Ullyses just yet, most off the Irish don't even have a clue what he was on about. Last week, I started reading Star of the Sea, a novel by Joseph O'Connor. Joseph is the brother of wicca, pope-hater, lesbian, skin-head Sinead. He lives in Donegal, which is basicaly the Irish place for Wisconsin or Geluwe (the bloody middle of frigging nowhere). His book tells the story of a ship of Irish refugees, fleeing the famine of 1847, in search of a better life in the States. It paints a horrible picture of the exploitation of the common man, not only by the English, but also by Irish merchant (exploitation, it's the oldest game in the world, innit?). Great book, especially if you've been to Connemara and the Burren, where the main characters come from. To give you a clue on what the Burren looks like: Cromwell once said: "There is no tree to hang a man, not enough water to drown him and not enough ground to bury him in." Go there, it's lovely...
Other Irish books I can recommend:

• A star called Henry, first book of a trilogy by Roddy Doyle. The gripping story of Henry Smart, who was one of the revolutionaries of the Easter Rising. Great insight into the Irish Revolution.
• McCarthy's Pub and The road to McCarthy by Pete McCarthy. Pete recently passed away. He left us two great travelstories. I'm not saying these things lightly, but he might just be up there with the great Bill Bryson. Especially the first book tells an enormously funny story of his travel around Ireland. He has ten rules for traveling and rule number one is, off course: "Never pass a pub with your name, without having a pint there"...
• And there's Donal Ruane's Tales from a rearviewmirror. An ex-taxidriver recalling his drives through Dublin. He just got a new book out on the aftermath of the Celtic Tiger, or in other words, why a shabby house here will set you back about 700.000euro unless you want to live the other side of the island (I've got an easy commute: I live on the Aran Islands...)

But off course there is also Irish comedy. I recently discovered the BBC-sitcom Black Books, starring my new role-model Bill Bailey. Starring alongside him was a character called Bernard Black (hence Black Books). Bernard Black is a grumpy drunken Irishman (that would be a pleonasm...). (Ever noticed how most of the jokes start? An Englishman, a Welshman and a Scotsman walk into a pub... Well, I've always asked myself where the Irishman was. Now I know: he's been in there since dawn and is already pissed out of his head and to hammered to take any further part in the action. That's why most people don't even mention him any more...). This guy's real name is Dylan Moran, an Irishman who's been living in England for years (Wanker!). He has a live-DVD out form his latest show in Vicar Street and it's brilliant. It even features a quiz. It reads: Suitable for viewers over 15 years if age. Contains some strong language, once very strong. Well, I've watched it tree times last night and I can't find the one piece of very strong language. He says "FECK" every other word... Check him out, together with Dave McSavage, who you might see in the streets of Temple Bar. Well, I'm certainly hooked on the Irish. Therefore my two firstborn shall be called Paidraig and Siobhan. Failte!

Posted by Bietje at Thursday, November 25, 2004 | Permalink | Comments

Adeste fidele, laeti triumphante

Venite, venite In Be-he-tle-hem...
Venite adoremus, venite adoremus, venite adoremu-hus Do-ho-mi-nus (*)

Okay, you got me. It IS Christmas. Yesterday I was walking through this fair city and there was no denying it. The gorgeous lights in Henry Street, Grafton Street and O'Connelstreet. The asses all around me. All the men form the East wandering the streets. Babies crying in the allies of Temple Bar... Christmastrees all around. Even the homeless seem in a very Christmassy... They've never looked so cold and desperate as these last couple of days...

Where's Bono when you need him? No, seriously. He's of to some African country to save the little children there, but everytime he goes to his hotel in Temple bar, or to Lilly's Pink Bordello (it's just a pub...) in Grafton Street he is literally stumbling over homeless fellow Dubliners... I guess helping them is not so high-profile...

Anyway, I've made a decision yesterday. On Christmas eve, I'm going to make one of those poor bastards happy and give him 20 euro, so he can check into a youth hostel for the night. He might even get a piece of turkey for it. I'm sure this little gesture won't redeem my soul. But maybe the old guy upstairs can cut me a little slack and send a cute blonde with a pair of huge knockers (des gros nichons) my way...

(*) Oh come let us adore him, oh come let us adore him, oh come let us adore hi-im, Chri-hist the Lord...

Posted by Bietje at Wednesday, November 24, 2004 | Permalink | Comments

Cosmic Conundrum:
The universe seems uncannily well suited to the existence of life:
Could that really be an accident?


Dealing with cranks is an occupational hazard for most scientists, but it's especially bad for physicists and astronomers. Those who study the cosmos for a living tend to be bombarded with letters, calls and emails from would-be geniuses who insist they have refuted Einstein or devised a new theory of gravity or disproved the Big Bang. The telltale signs of crankdom are so consistent — a grandiose theory, minimal credentials, a messianic zeal — that scientists can usually spot them a mile off.

That's why the case of James Gardner is so surprising. He seems to fit the profile perfectly: he's a Portland, Ore., attorney, not a scientist, who argues — are you ready for this?--that our universe might have been manufactured by a race of superintelligent extraterrestrial beings. That is exactly the sort of idea that would normally have experts rolling their eyes, blocking e-mails and hoping the author won't corner them at a lecture or a conference.

But when Gardner's book Biocosmcame out last year, it carried jacket endorsements from a surprisingly eminent group of scientists.
"A novel perspective on humankind's role in the universe," wrote Martin Rees, the astronomer royal of Britain and a Cambridge colleague of Stephen Hawking's.
"There is little doubt that his ideas will change yours," wrote Seth Shostak, senior astronomer at the Search for Extraterrestrial Intelligence (SETI) Institute in California. "A magnificent one-stop account of the history of life," wrote complexity theorist John Casti, a co-founder of the Santa Fe Institute. Since then, Gardner has been welcomed at major planetariums and legitimate scientific conferences, explaining his ideas to a surprisingly interested public.

It's not that anyone actually buys Gardner's theory. He admits it's "farfetched," and even those scientists who find it stimulating think it's wildly improbable. But it does have one thing in its favor. The biocosm theory is an attempt, albeit a highly speculative one, to solve what just might be science's most profound mystery: why the universe, against all odds, is so remarkably hospitable to life.

Given that we haven't found any life beyond Earth yet, "remarkably hospitable" may sound a bit strong. At a deep level, though, it's true. Many of the most fundamental characteristics of our cosmos — the relative strengths of gravity, electromagnetism and the forces that operate inside atomic nuclei as well as the masses and relative abundances of different particles — are so finely tuned that if just one of them were even slightly different, life as we know it couldn't exist.

If the so-called weak nuclear interaction were a tiny bit stronger or weaker than it is, for example, stars wouldn't blow up in the mammoth supernovas that spread elements like carbon and oxygen out into space — and without those elements, there would be no water and no organic molecules. If the strong nuclear force were just one-half of 1% stronger or weaker, stars could not make carbon or oxygen in the first place. In 1999 Martin Rees postulated that there were "just six numbers" that make life possible, although other theorists have since added several. And because there is no known law that requires those forces to have the values they do, scientists figure that there must be another explanation for how we got so lucky.

The proposition that the cosmos is — against all odds — perfectly tuned for life is known as the anthropic principle. And while it has been getting a lot of attention lately, there is no consensus on how seriously to take it. Some scientists are confident that there is a law that dictates the values of those key cosmic numbers, and when we find it, the anthropic problem will go away. Others think the answer is even simpler: if the numbers were any different than they are, we wouldn't be around to argue about them — case closed. "The anthropic principle," complains Fermilab astrophysicist Rocky Kolb, "is the duct tape of cosmology. It's not beautiful or elegant, and it sure as hell is not going to be permanent."

By MICHAEL D. LEMONICK; J. MADELEINE NASH

Posted by Bietje at Tuesday, November 23, 2004 | Permalink | Comments

Fury over JFK assassin game

"AP - Cyberassassins can put themselves in Lee Harvey Oswald's shoes and attempt to kill John F.Kennedy in a global internet competition, with $128,000 going to the winner.The player who most closely matches the scenario of Oswald firing three bullets from the Texas School Book Depository will win the money in a game that has left the former president's family outraged.
Glasgow-based company Traffic released the game, entitled JFK Reloaded, yesterday to coincide with the 41st anniversary of the 35th US president's assassination on November 22, 1963.
A spokesman for US senator Edward Kennedy, the late president's brother, branded the game "despicable". "

Of course the game has a few obvious flaws. Nobody believes Lee Harvey Oswald killed JFK. In order to really come close to the real scenario, you'd have to play a CIA-agent... Also there is no level two: what about all the other Kennedy's that got killed? And Martin L. King?

Other countries have expressed their interest in the game, though: England is thinking of a John Lennon shoot-out, a Princess Diana rally-game and a George Best vs. Gazza drinking-contest.
Belgium is thinking about an André Cools shooting game (with Agusta-helicopters) and Holland wants a new version of the SIMS, workingtitle: The PIMS.

Posted by Bietje at Monday, November 22, 2004 | Permalink | Comments

New U2-album: the verdict

mwaaaah

Posted by Bietje at Monday, November 22, 2004 | Permalink | Comments

Made in .be

I've had some complaints lately on the fact that I've been bashing my home country. Apparently some people still like the place. Well, lets see if I can come up with something positive. I should probably get an unbiased observer in...

Julius Caesar said: "Gallia est omnis divisa in partes tres, quarum unam incolunt Belgae, aliam Aquitani, tertiam qui ipsorum lingua Celtae, nostra Galli appellantur. Horum omnium fortissimi sunt Belgae, propterea quod a cultu atque humanitate provinciae longissime absunt, minimeque ad eos mercatores saepe commeant atque ea quae ad effeminandos animos pertinent important, proximique sunt Germanis, qui trans Rhenum incolunt, quibuscum continenter bellum gerunt. "

So we've established that the Belgians were the bravest, fiercest warriors amongst the Gaules (because we were the furthest away from any civilized spot...). Well, in fairness, old Jules has been dead for over 2000 years, we might want to find someone a bit younger...

What does General de Gaulle, one of the great leaders of 20th-century France, make of the place?
"Belgium is an invention of the English to annoy the French."

Okay, maybe I should find somebody else... (He was, in fact, right. Belgium was invented by the English in the niniteenth century to stop the French from fighting the Germans. Not that we were a big help...)

Bill Bryson has visited about every country in the world. Lets hear what he thinks of it.

"As countries go, Belgium is a curiosity. It's not one nation at all, but two: northern Dutch-speaking Flanders and southern French-speaking Wallonia. The southern half possesses the most outstanding scenery, the prettiest villages, the best gastronomy and, withal, a Gallic knack for living well, while the north has the finest cities, the most outstanding museums and churches, the ports, the coastal resorts, the bulk of the population and most of the money."
So far so good, seems like a nice place, lets read on then...
"The Flemings can't stand the Walloons and the Walloons can't stand the Flemings, but when you talk to them a little you realize that what holds them together is an even deeper disdain for the French and the Dutch."

Oops, I fear the shit may have hit the fan there... Okay, maybe I should try to come up with something myself...

Like Bill Bryson says there are some pretty nice towns in Belgium: Brugge, Gent en Menen. Outstanding churches would be de Kapuccinekerke, de Grwutte Kerke, Sint-Jang en ‘t Achterkappelleke.

We had the first railway on the continent: the first train ever in Europe went from Brussels to Antwerp in 1831.

Oh, and what about beer? We're pretty good at that. InBev is the biggest brewery in the world and home of Stella Artois, probably the best beer in the world. All in all, Belgium has a few hundred different beers. Don't take my word for it: ask Michael Jackson. We’ve Duvel, Leffe en many more…

Well, if we're going to include beer, we have to include French fries. Off course the French claim they invented them, but even if they did, we perfected them...

Cheese! For every beer in Belgium, there's a cheese. You do the math... And we have the best chocolate in the world, you can't argue with that...

Since jazz originated in the States, you Yankees probably think you had something to do with the saxophone. Think again: the saxophone is Belgian and invented by Adolphe Sax . And of course we had the bard of mothern time: Mister Jacques Brel. His timeless songs have been covered by various artists, including Ol’ Blue Eyes himself. More recently, Belgians invented the new wave and electro-music, with such bands as Praga Khan and Front 242. And of course, our other Belgian bard, Arno, has been knighted (albeit in France, we’re NOT very good at spotting talent…).

We have actors in Hollywood: Jean-Claude Vandamme, the next Governor of California and Ronny Coutteurre, the friend of Indiana Jones in “Young Indy”…

Oh, and we know how to paint a pretty picture: the Flemish Primitives, Rubens , Delvaux , Ensor, Permeke and Magritte (who painted a very poor version of William Tell, as you can see). The more modern painters tended to be surrealists, but they would off course, being from Belgium. We’re only about 11 million, Belgium is about 30.000 square km and yet we need six (6!) governments to run the place… We’ve always been good at politics. We’re responsible for the cold war, since Karl Marx wrote his Communist Manifesto in Brussels, Paul-Henri Spaak was the first secretary-general of the UN and was shitting his pants at the time (Nous avons peur) and we practically invented the European Union as it exists today…

What about the Smurfs? The jolly little blue fellows are Belgian. And TinTin and Nero , the longest running comic in history (It's in the Guinness Book of Records)...

So all in all:
It’s a not so bad, it’s a nice a place, NOW SHUDUPPA YUR FACE (music and lyrics:J.Dulce)

Posted by Bietje at Saturday, November 20, 2004 | Permalink | Comments

45 years later: still Miles ahead...

On November 20th 1959, Miles Davis and Gill Evans recorded Concerto d'Aranjuez, featured on the 'Sketches of Spain'-album, released in 1960. Concerto d' Aranjuez was originally written for guitar by Joaquin Rodrigo (1901-1999). Miles' version set a new standard in modern jazz and the album is, along with Birth of the Cool, still considered one of the best jazz-albums of all time. If you've never heard this exquisite piece of music: get your hands on it. You haven't experienced real beauty without Miles' concerto.
Yesterday I caught a glimpse of the MTV-awards. It's pretty sad to see all those bling-covered foulmouthed brothers being adulated by the masses, while fifteen years after his death Mr. Davis is still Miles ahead...

Posted by Bietje at Friday, November 19, 2004 | Permalink | Comments

In the Dutch Mountains...

Winner of the week:

The low countries, i.e. Belgium and Holland. The murder of Theo Van Gogh, the adoration of Pim Fortuyn, two prevented attacks on MP's and the siege of The Hague in Holland. The execution of a Jew in Antwerp, the death threat to three MP's and the re-invention of Flanders' neo-nazistic party 'Vlaams Belang' (which gets about 25% of the votes) in Belgium... How can I not be proud of my roots?

Loser of the week:

Depeche Mode-fans, i.e. me.
Depeche Mode announced that they are to record a new album...
Just a quick calculation here.
In August they are going to release a kick-ass new single + remix-single. I'll buy both, 5.99 euro a piece.
By end September, they'll release an average album (23.95 euro) and a mediocre second single (5.99 euro x2).
They'll start their tour at the end of next year, so I'll go and see them in Antwerp Sportpaleis (45 euro) and buy a T-shirt (35 euro) and a tourbook by Anton Corbijn (45 euro).
Since they probably won't come to Dublin, I'll go and see them at Wembly (flight:150 euro, accommodation: 75 euro, spending money: 250 euro).
Their third single will be a crappy ballad sung by Martin Gore (5.99 euro x2) and then they will release the cheesiest song of the album as a fourth single, and put some extras on it; e.g. the videos of the four new singles (5.99 x2).
To top it all off they will release a Live-DVD, 34.99 euro. So I'm looking at a bill of 706.86 euro here.
Oh well, I suppose it's a small price to pay to see Dave shaking his ass, Mart sweating his ass off and Fletch making an ass of himself... Mode rules!

Posted by Bietje at Friday, November 19, 2004 | Permalink | Comments

Belgian soccer:
there's always something to talk about...

Yesterday, the Belgian national soccerteam -or Red Devils- lost their homegame against Serbia-Montenegro with 0-2. Well obviously. If the others can play with two teams, how do you expect our boys to have a fair chance? Because of this defeat, it seems very likely that Belgium might, for the first time in my life, not qualify for the World Cup.

Oh well, I'm sure that Ireland will win their group and the boys in green have a much better side anyway: Roy and Robbie Keane, Damien Duff, Shay Given and John O'Shea. Watch out France, we'll give you a warm welcome in Lansdowne Road.

Belgian soccerclubs, however, are trying their best to remedy the situation. They even give their players the opportunity to have a go at other sports. In AA Gent for example, they've added box and base-ball to the trainingsessions. Last Wednesday Mohammed Oussalah and Abdelmalek Cherrad had a slight misunderstanding. Oussalah punched Cherrad in the face. The latter wasn't impressed, drove home, only to return with a baseballbat, in an attempt to get even with his colleague.
The President of the club announced that his team will have a go at the World Series next year...

Posted by Bietje at Thursday, November 18, 2004 | Permalink | Comments

2004-The best of

Since everybody is still trying to get me in the X-masmode, I've decided to skip the whole 'It's the season to be jolly, falalaludjah lalalalah'-thing altogether and give you my Best of 2004-list.

Books of the year
1. An instance of the fingerpost - Iain Pears
2. A short history of nearly everything - Bill Bryson
3. Oh, play that thing - Roddy Doyle
4. The way to McCarthy - Pete McCarthy
5. The Dante club - Matthew Pearl

CD's of the year
1. Keziah Jones - Black Orpheus
2. Courtney Pine - Devotion
3. Terry Callier - Timepeace
4. Alison Moyet - Hometime
5. Eleanor McEvoy - Early Hours

Concert of the year
1. Courtney Pine - Crawdaddy Dublin
2. Bruce Hornsby - Vicar Street Dublin
3. Channel One - Crawdaddy Dublin
4. Filip Kowlier - Grensrock Menen
5. Branford Marsalis - Blue Note Festival Gent

So happy new year to everybody and bring on the Easterbunny...

Posted by Bietje at Thursday, November 18, 2004 | Permalink | Comments

Fortuyn-Bush: one battle

Yesterday, this site reported the election of Pim Fortuyn as Dutchman of all time. Apparently he won the election in a Bush-like fashion. The Dutch televisionchannel that hosted the show confessed that a couple of thousand votes were left unaccounted for. There were problems with the computervotes in Florida, euh... I mean Harlem. This is where Pims brother, Jeb, euh... I mean Marten Fortuyn lives. The real winner should have been William van Oranje, but he threw the towel a couple of centuries ago... Sounds vaguely familiar, doesn't it?

Posted by Bietje at Wednesday, November 17, 2004 | Permalink | Comments

New-Zealand discovers new life-forms,
US Marines set to extinct Bengal Tiger

Scientists on the first deep-sea investigation of underwater volcanoes in New Zealand believe they have discovered many new types of creatures previously unknown to humankind. American Marines in Baghdad on the contrary, seem to set their own agenda.

The Geological and Nuclear Sciences Ltd (GNS) exploration of the deep sea floor was the first in a manned submersible in New Zealand, and investigated the Brothers volcano, 400km northeast of White Island and 1800m below the sea. "We saw scores of chimneys, some six meters tall, each containing thousands of tonnes of metal," said GNS project leader Dr Cornel de Ronde.

At one of the sites, 300 degrees fluids were pumping out of chimneys forming dense plumes of black smoke. Biological samples taken included shrimp, scale worms, crabs, eel-fish, limpets, and tube worms -- the first time the species had been recorded in New Zealand territorial waters.
The scientists believe that up to 30 per cent of the creatures they collected might never have been investigated before. Among the creatures recovered using the submersible's robotic arms were "colonies of heat-loving micro-organisms that may have potential future applications in pharmaceuticals, in bioremediation of contaminated sites, and in bio-mining" ,GNS said in a statement.

Whilst New-Zealand are discovering, US Marines are on course to extinct a very rare species. US Marines killed one more Iraqi yesterday. The "insurgent" in this case was a defenseless Bengal Tiger, locked up in its cage at Baghdad Zoo, shot dead by a drunken American soldier.
Reportedly, one of the group entered the tiger's cage and started teasing it, whereby the animal attacked him, injuring his hand and arm. One of the other soldiers opened fire on the animal, killing it.
The Bengal Tiger is an endangered species, numbering between 3.000 and 4.500 in the wild.

Posted by Bietje at Wednesday, November 17, 2004 | Permalink | Comments

Beavers weave stolen cash from casino into a dam
Frank Vandenbroucke (SP.a) wishes he thought of it some years ago

Beavers found a bag of bills stolen from a casino, tore it open and wove the money into the sticks and brush of their dam on a creek near Baton Rouge.

"They hadn't torn the bills up. They were still whole," said Maj. Michael Martin of the East Feliciana Parish Sheriff's Office. The money was part of at least $70,000 taken last week from the Lucky Dollar Casino in Greensburg, about 50 kilometers northeast of Baton Rouge. Sheriff's deputies in St. Helena Parish, where the truck stop video poker casino is located, have accused a security guard at the casino of disabling its security cameras. Jacqueline Wall, 25, was booked with felony theft, Martin said.
Deputies had searched for the money for days before an attorney called with a tip: the money had been thrown into the creek. The lawyer's client hopes to make a deal with prosecutors, Greensburg Police Chief Ronald Harrell said.
They found one money bag right away. The second was downstream, against the beaver dam. After trying unsuccessfully to find the third bag in the deep water near the dam, Martin said, deputies began to break it down to release some of the water so they could search in a shallower pool. That was when they saw the dam's expensive decoration.
"The casino people were elated to get the money back, even if some of it was wet", Harrell said.

After hearing this story, Flemish Minister Frank Vandenbroucke (SP.a) gave an official press-conference, in which he confessed he would have never burned the Agusta-bribe his party received in the nineties, if he'd known that the money could have been put to good use.

Posted by Bietje at Tuesday, November 16, 2004 | Permalink | Comments

Pim Fortuyn Dutchman of all times

The lovely people of Holland have elected Pim Fortuyn as Dutchman of all times. You know, Holland, the lovely little country north of that other shithole, known as Belgium. A country of windmills, wooden clogs, cheese, racial attacks and pot-heads.
Pim Fortuyn was a politician who was murdered about two years ago. Well, politician... He was actually an openly gay, right-wing loud-mouth, who had an opinion on everything and a solution for nothing. He never held public office for a day and his party dissolved shortly after his death, mainly because it was an amalgam of discontent ingnoramuses, who wanted the pay and not the burden of a public career.
Okay, granted, we can't approve of politicians being killed for their opinions (unless they're called George W.), but just the fact that someone kills you doesn't make you the most wonderful Dutchman ever to walk the face of the earth, now does it?
Other nominees that were not as popular as Pimmetje : Anne Frank, Vincent Van Gogh (well, he did cut of an ear, he deserves some credit), Rembrandt and Erasmus. Clearly Fortuyn is much more important than all of these...
There is something going horribly wrong in Holland. I think it's time to bring in the US Marine and restore order...

Posted by Bietje at Tuesday, November 16, 2004 | Permalink | Comments

It is NOT Christmas yet

OK, let's synchronize watches. Today is November 15th. Not Christmas. Tomorrow: November 16th. Not Christmas. Next week: still not Christmas. Next MONTH: December 15th. Not Christmas.
I've so had it with the twinkling lights, the HOW-HOW-HOWs, the stables and the asses... Back off Santa, your not due for another six weeks. What's next? We start celebrating New Year as soon as March? We're not bloody Chinese, are we? Next year the Easterbunny will arrive before the wise men from the East do...
And all the naive, happy-ending X-masmovies starring Tim Allen: enough. 'Bad Santa' is somewhat of an alternative. Billy Bob Thornton playing a booze-addicted, chainsmoking, shoprobbing, ass-fucking Santa. But still: way to early.
I still have a tan from my summerholidays!
Today somebody walked into work with his arm up a turkey. Could we leave the lovely animals alone for another six weeks? Really.

Posted by Bietje at Monday, November 15, 2004 | Permalink | Comments

Cat rapes woman after performing oral sex on her
Russian must be really bored...

Two women attempted to experience sexual pleasure from an intimate contact with a cat. The weird endeavor ended rather sad for one of the women: she was hospitalized with severe genital injuries. Doctors arrived to hospitalize a woman, who had suffered from unexpected bleeding, as they were told on the phone. They saw a woman lying on the sofa. The woman was wearing only a jumper. Streaks of blood could be seen on her legs. The woman's friend was speechless to explain what happened. The woman was taken to the gynecological department of the local hospital, where doctors determined the unusual character of the genital injuries. Stitching the wounds, they supposed that a sex maniac had attacked the woman and injured her in the crotch.

The truth, however, surpassed all expectations. When the woman recovered, she confessed that she had been injured during her love act with a cat. The woman's name was Svetlana. Her husband, an entrepreneur, was constantly away on business trips. That day he was out of town too. Svetlana was bored and she decided to visit her friend, Vera. The two women had some wine and started talking about intimate matters. Vera was the first, who suggested trying something totally unusual: "Do you wanna try the real thing?" asked she. When Vera clarified, what the real thing was about, Svetlana was terrified. However, the idea seemed to be attractive to her after the women talked about it and had some more wine. "Life is too short, one has to try everything!" Svetlana decided. Vera brought in a cat. The cat named as Timka was living in the house for quite a long time. Vera took her clothes off, put the light out and played an adult movie on the video recorder. She lied down, took a bottle of valerian and poured some on her most intimate body part. When the cat smelled valerian, he started licking it away, putting Vera in the state of ecstasy. "Now it is your turn, you try," Vera told Svetlana when she was done. "You know, my friend, there is nothing better than the cat's little tongue," said she. When the cat started licking valerian off from Svetlana, something happened to the animal. Timka probably took too much of the medication: he started licking the liquid away but all of a sudden he seized the genitals of the poor woman with his claws and teeth. Svetlana screamed and tried to push the fierce pet lover away from her, but the cat wouldn't let go. Vera hurried to help her friend: she emptied a bucket of water on the cat and threw the animal out of the house. When she saw that Svetlana was bleeding, she called an ambulance. When Svetlana returned home from the hospital, she had to tell the story to her husband, Boris. The man could not take the fact that his wife preferred having oral sex with a cat: Boris kicked Svetlana out of the house and the abandoned woman had to stay with her mother. The offended man is not going to forgive his wife: the couple is currently divorcing. It is noteworthy that lonely women often use their pets (cats or dogs, regardless of sex) to satisfy their sexual needs. Such pet adventures often lead to lamentable consequences - not for pets, but for orgasm-craving women, as a rule. An overdose of valerian can make the loveliest cat become a fierce and aggressive animal.

Posted by Bietje at Monday, November 15, 2004 | Permalink | Comments

How to dismantle a recordingstudio

I have the simplest of tastes, I want only the best (Oscar Wilde)

Dublins finest are not only back with a new CD. The Dublin Docklands will also boast U2s new studio. Their current studio at Hannover Quay is to be torn down. Part of a revamp of the whole Docklands-area, the new studio will be Dublins own glass Tower of Pisa. As Bono once said: "In America, you look up at the house on the hill and say: 'One day that could be me'. In Ireland, they look up at the mansion on the hill and say: 'One day, I'm gonna get that bastard..." Careful now, Mr. Hewson, some people might just want to get U2...

Posted by Bietje at Sunday, November 14, 2004 | Permalink | Comments

Mongolians: great warriors, lousy chefs...

Yesterday I had dinner with a friend at the Mongolian barbecue, situated in Dublins Temple Bar.
As a starter I had the mozzarella/Sundried tomato tartlets served with sweet chilli sauce. Chewy, cold, tasteless.
The main course or Mongolian feast with steamed rice: you get your own bowl of food and it's being professionally cremated on a big shield by a cook who looks suspiciously Chinese. As you know the Great Chinese Wall was built to keep Ghensis Khans Mongolians out of China. I'm guessing this Chinaman was corrupting the Mongolian empire from the inside...
Dessert was called Death by Chocolate: Fudge cake made with sticky chocolate topped with cream. A fancy name for something that was primarily made of plastic... You want a great chocolatefudge? Go to Tante Zoe and get the Mississippi Mudpie.
Our Mongolian friends saved the best surprise for last: they added a 10%-service charge to our bill. Service charge? They did f*ck all!! You have to get your own bowl and stand around queuing for half an hour. There's hardly any washing up to do: you eat with them bloody wooden sticks, so that, when you finally get that first grain of rice to your mouth, it's been cold for half an hour!
What a rip-off! Steer well clear of this place if you visit Dublin. The Mongolian barbecue join Bewleys Cafe in my infamous No-Go Zone.

Posted by Bietje at Sunday, November 14, 2004 | Permalink | Comments

Disaster strikes for Par-Ky Menen



Steve Roelandt suffered an injury last night during the match against Tallinn.

Recent events have left Par-Ky Menen, one of Belgiums best volleyteams, shellshocked. The team could lose his second player this week.

At the beginning of the week, the team had to fire reception-player Timothy Buys, after he was suspended for 18 months by the Belgian Volley Association, for the use of cocaine. There was an on-going investigation, since Buys tested positive for the substance at a beachvolley-tournament this summer. As the Volley Association does not give out names until the B-sample has been proven positive, Buys conveniently forgot to mention the investigation during contractnegotiations last summer.

On Thursday, the team left for Tallinn (Estonia), to appear in the second leg of the CEV-cup. After the first point in the game against hometeam Tallinn , spiker and top-player, Steve Roelandt fell to the floor. The club fears he may have torn his ligaments, although the news has not been confirmed yet. Menen lost the game 3-1, but that will be the last of their worries. The management is franticly looking for a replacement for Buys, and if Roelandt were to be injured for a significant time, the team might face an uphill struggle to hold its spot in the top-6 of the Belgian league

Posted by Bietje at Saturday, November 13, 2004 | Permalink | Comments

Winners and losers

This weeks winner to me is Yasser Arafat. After a lifelong struggle he's finally resting in peace, something he never knew during his lifetime. Freedomfighter or terrorist, Arafat was one of the icons of the last century. Shalom, Yasser.
This weeks loser is Eastern Germany. Although it's been fifteen years since the wall has come down, the Eastern part of Germany is still very much the poor region. A recent poll showed that up to 23% of West-Germans would like to see the wall get re-erected...

Posted by Bietje at Friday, November 12, 2004 | Permalink | Comments

Big train

Yesterday I've bought myself the "Big Train"-DVD-set. Big Train is arguably one of the best sketch-shows the BBC broadcasted the last couple of years. A herd of jockeys being chased by The Artist Formerly Known As Prince, Jesus firing the Devil from office, the 43th World Championship Stare-Out and the Chaka Khan vs. The BeeGees-shoot-out... It's al possible with these guys. Starring Simon 'Shaun of the Dead' Pegg.

Posted by Bietje at Friday, November 12, 2004 | Permalink | Comments

Vancouver lawyer teaching Americans how to emigrate (Wendy Cox)

VANCOUVER (CP) - A Vancouver immigration lawyer is travelling to three U.S. Pacific Coast cities to tell Americans who can't face another four years of George Bush how to find the life they hoped for in Canada. Rudi Kischer said his firm has gotten about two dozen calls from frustrated Americans, so he's set up seminars in Seattle, San Francisco and Los Angeles to brief people on the ins and outs of Canada's immigration system. "A lot of people are feeling disenfranchised after the last election," Kischer said.

Posted by Bietje at Wednesday, November 10, 2004 | Permalink | Comments

Did Bush fix the elections?

This is what our Russian friends from Pravda think of the American elections. Want to read more? There is a Pravda-link in "Eye on the world". Don't be afraid: it takes you to the English version of the Pravda-site...

Why did Kerry throw in the towel so soon?

The appearance of Osama bin Laden bang on cue was suspicious, to say the least, as is now the increasing evidence pointing toward election fraud in the United States of America on November 2nd. Exit polls in sensitive districts just don't add up to the official figures. Did Bush fix it?
In Ohio, for instance, the sensitive state which gave Bush the 20 electoral college votes he needed, CNN exit polls among women awarded Kerry the vote by 53 to 47% and among men by 51 to 49%. The question was "Who did you vote for" but the point is were the votes counted?
Let us examine the various complaints against the official result on November 2nd and let us see in how many ways the Bush regime could have influenced the vote, through ballot tricks....

Posted by Bietje at Wednesday, November 10, 2004 | Permalink | Comments

Are you in the axis of Evil?

Check out the new link in "Eye on the world" to the CIA-website and find out everything you ever wanted to know about your country. Or at least, what American intelligence knows about it. Or at least what American intelligence knows about it and what they want you to know that they know...

Posted by Bietje at Tuesday, November 09, 2004 | Permalink | Comments

NINE-ELEVEN!

Today's nine-eleven. Well, it is! It's not 'cos the States puts the month in front, we all do. In Belgium it's DD/MM/YYYY, hence today's nine-eleven...
Whoa, relax, chill out, no panic! I've got you covered. I've alerted Interpol, Eurostat, CERN, MI5 and Belgian and Irish intelligence (that was the tricky part, since both countries seem to be severely lacking in the intelligence department).
So today we're at DEFCON 27.5 and the Terrorist Alert Level is a deep magenta with a slight hint of maroon. I would still advise you to find the nearest shelter, though. Take enough lifesupplies, this might take a while. Don't come out until the rubble has settled and the sound of sirens has been replaced by an ear-deafening silence. This could off course also mean that nuclear winter has started... Better check with me first, hopefully I'll post tomorrow...

Posted by Bietje at Tuesday, November 09, 2004 | Permalink | Comments

Deadringers are back!

Yesterday, another series of Deadringers kicked off. Highlights were Dick Cheneys "Fear more wars, euh..., I mean four more years" and the return of the Doctor. Who? Yes, the Doctor.

Every Monday at 10 GMT on BBC2

Posted by Bietje at Tuesday, November 09, 2004 | Permalink | Comments

THERE IS SOMETHING ROTTEN IN THE STATE OF...

Well basically, these maps show you that something has always been very rotten in most of the Southern states...

Posted by Bietje at Monday, November 08, 2004 | Permalink | Comments

Repugnians: Robots in disguise



USA 2008 - Governator loses after bitterest campaign ever...


What if Jeb isn't the next Repugnian candidate? What if the Governator really wants to conquer the Oval Office? Only one man can save the Democrats...

Posted by Bietje at Monday, November 08, 2004 | Permalink | Comments

Dublin mourns the loss of Bewleys

One of Dublins great landmarks, Bewleys Café, announced their closure by the end of this year. Bewleys, a chain of cafés founded in 1840, can be found both on Grafton Street and Westmoreland Street. Bewelys are mentioned in every self-respecting tourist-guide. The fact that these two cafés are about to close down, is all the more sad, since the coffee they served was ABSOLUTELY ABYSMAL and the cakes were UTTERLY CRAP. On top of that they charged you gigantic sums of money for terrible service. If you are ever in Dublin, you want a great slice of freshly made pie, a good cup of coffee and friendly service, go to 'Queen of Tarts' on Dame Street.

Posted by Bietje at Sunday, November 07, 2004 | Permalink | Comments

Disturbing X-mas-adds!

All around Dublin one can find billboards trying to sell cosmetic surgery for the holidays. "Be a cracker all year!", "Thicker lips, permanent bikini-line (for X-mas?)and fuller breasts...". JESUS CHRIST!!
Euh, I mean, Jesus Christ, The Word, Our Savior, surely didn't intend X-mas to be about superficial beauty? What the hell is wrong with society, when Santa drops two breast-implants in your sock? This year, don't get a plastic Christmas-tree, get plastic tits!

Oh, for all you ladies out there who have breast-implants and are quite offended by my post: CAN I SEE THEM?

Posted by Bietje at Sunday, November 07, 2004 | Permalink | Comments

Links

So I've added a couple of links. It took me so long 'cos I'm such a spa at this computerthing. But there you go. You'll find links to my favorite music artists, Dublin's top venues, my favorite comedy and loads of other good stuff.
There are three categories that are going to be updated regularly...
I'm very sad to have to start Winner of the week with Dubbaya, but how can anyone who has the braincapacity of a jellyfish and gets re-elected as most powerful man of the planet, not be the winner of the week?
Loser of the week has to be Kelsey Grammer. I'm an absolute Frasierfan, but last week it came to my attention that Mr. Grammer actively supported our winner of the week during his campaign. Frasier has left the building! My building anyway... As a countermeasure I'm not gonna watch my Frasier-DVD's until the end of the month.
Movie of the month: Finding Neverland. Johnny Depp plays the guy who wrote Peter Pan. Go and see it, he's brilliant. And will somebody give Johnny an Oscar already, for cryin' out loud!

Posted by Bietje at Saturday, November 06, 2004 | Permalink | Comments

Channel one

Gisterenavond, 20uur, Crawdaddy, Dublin. Een oude Koog en een Roland 300, twee gitaren, een bas en een drumstel. Gaan ze hier Bossa Nova mee spelen? Nee, natuurlijk niet. Vague Nouvelle was zo vriendelijk een voorprogramma mee te hebben. Lokaal talent: Channel One. Electropunk, genre Joy Division/ Killing Joke. Zeer te pruimen. Na hun optreden hebben we een gratis demo-cd bemachtigd en ook op onze eigenste hifi-installatie klinken de jongens top.
Rond kwart voor tien was het tijd voor ons Frans combo. De eerste drie nummers brachten ons meteen in de sfeer: A Forest, Just can't get enough en Bizarre Love Triangle. Na het nummer 'Teenage Kicks' vroeg zangeres Camille zich af wat 'Teenage Kicks' nu juist betekent. Ik riep haar toe: "Viens chez-moi, je vais te montrer", waarop ze antwoordde met "I'm too drunk to fuck" (Dead Kennedy's). Point taken...
Hoogtepunten waren "In a Manner of speaking", een nummer van Tuxedomoon, dat ooit met succes werd gecoverd door Martin L. Gore en natuurlijk de afsluiter "Love will tear us apart again".

Great venue, good music, good craic...

Posted by Bietje at Saturday, November 06, 2004 | Permalink | Comments

Nouvelles Vagues

Vanavond gaan we in de Crawdaddy naar Nouvelles Vagues kijken. De Crawdaddy is de nieuwste aanwinst in Dublins alternatieve uitgaansscene. Enkele maanden terug was ik erbij op het eerste concert ooit. Courtney Pine en zijn band waren uit de kunst... De Crawdaddy is gevestigd in een oud treinstation, Hardcourt Station, dat is omgetoverd tot dans- en concerttempel. Het Crawdaddy-gedeelte is in handen van een van de leden van Westlife (Ierland heeft ook zijn nadelen). Onze vriend wist niet wat gedaan met zijn geld en dacht dat het een goed idee was om een deel ervan in echte muziek te investeren. Go, Westlife, go.

Maar vanavond dus Nouvelles Vagues, een Frans combo dat Bossa Nova-versies brengt van New Waveklassiekers. Voor de iets minder taalvaardigen onder jullie: Bossa Nova, New Wave, Nouvelle Vague betekenen allemaal hetzelfde natuurlijk. Ik kijk al uit naar zomerse versies van A Forest, Love will tear us apart again en I just can't get enough. Nouvelles Vagues concerteert op 20 november trouwens in de Gentse Culture Club.

Uitgebreid verslag volgt...

Posted by Bietje at Friday, November 05, 2004 | Permalink | Comments

BIETJE FOR PRESIDENT

'k Ben even weggeweest, maar in tegenstelling tot eerdere berichten ben ik niet in Kroatie geweest. Ik was VN-waarnemer voor de verkiezingen in Ohio.

’t Is onwaarschijnlijk natuurlijk dat de anti-christ weer verkozen is, maar laat ons alles eens in perspectief plaatsen. Waar heeft Kerry zijn stemmen gehaald? In het noord-oosten en aan de westkust. M.a.w. de ontwikkelde gebieden. Wat we hier in Europa wel eens durven vergeten is dat 80% van de VS nog gewoon Far-West is en dan ook bevolkt wordt door cowboys. Wie wordt er dan als sherrif verkozen? De grootste cowboy van allemaal.

Grootste drukkingsgroepen in Amerika? NRA, olie-lobby en the Klan. I rest my case.
Hoe ga je de gemiddelde hillbilly in Nebraska wijsmaken dat zijn vijf jeeps een gat in de ozonlaag veroorzaken? Hoe kan er nu een gat zijn in iets waar je door kunt kijken?

In elf staten werd een referendum gehouden over het homohuwelijk, in elf staten werd het verworpen. Nu kun je misschien iets hebben tegen de term 'huwelijk'. In ons compromislandje houden we het dan op 'samenlevingscontract' en klaar is Kees. Waar het echter om draait is dat in heel wat Amerikaanse staten het bij wet verboden is een homorelatie te hebben. Hulla kust zijn vriendje op straat (als hij er ene zou hebben) en hij vliegt voor een half jaar den bak in (waar hij natuurlijk de bitch van de cipier wordt, maar das een ander verhaal...).

Dat de doodstraf in Amerika nog wordt uitgevoerd weten we ook. Daarnaast hebben ze ook zoiets als de first amendement. Vrijheid van meningsuiting op zijn Jurgen Verstrepens. Ik, Cletus McFarland, ben tegen de joden en de negers en dat ga ik eens aan iedereen vertellen. De volgende stap is natuurlijk die neger aan een koord aan mijn trekhaak hangen en er een rondje van mijn county mee rijden.
Let's face it jongens: de wereld wordt bestuurd door een land waar Hitler zich in bepaalde gebieden ongemakkelijk zou voelen...

Kerry dan maar? Laat me niet lachen. Yves Leterme heeft honderd keer het charisma dan die Kerry. Kerry, vertegenwoordiger van de kleine man? Hij is verdomme smoorrijk. Iedere keer dat ge ne curryworst special eet, is hij weer een euro rijker. Herinner u Al Gore? De man geeft voordrachten voor enkele honderdduizenden euros per uur. Dat zijn pas idealisten. De Democraten, mon oeuil. Hoe kun je in zo’n groot land een tweepartijenstelsel verdedigen?

Wat moeten we dan met de States? Wel, Moeder Natuur to the rescue zou ik zo zeggen. Onder 'Ye Old Faithfull', de bekendste geiser van Yellowstonepark, ligt een magmakamer van tientallen kubieke kilometer. Zo eens om de 50 miljoen jaar ontploft dat boeltje en volgens Bill Bryson (oke, er is 1 goeie Amerikaan...) zijn we zo'n 30 miljoen jaar over tijd. Afijn, als dat boeltje explodeert, zijn we van de States af. Het is natuurlijk zo dat de temperatuur op aarde dan met 5 tot 10 graden daalt, en zowat 90% van de wereldbevolking binnen de drie jaar crepeert. Maar als geboren leider is het duidelijk dat ik overleef en een verlichte dictatuur sticht. De wereld dient herbevolkt te worden en blijken nu net Sandra Bullock, Jennifer Connoly en Alyssa Milano op het filmfestival van Gent aanwezig te zijn. Ze zijn dus niet aan smithereens geblowd en vallen uiteraard in zwijm voor de nieuwe wereldleider en samen brengen we de wereldpopulatie terug op peil. We stichten een agrarische gemeenschap waar homo’s, negers en alle andere gekleurden aan de hoogste boom... Shit, ik vrees dat het genetisch is gastjes: lees er de studie van Milgram maar eens op na...

President Bietje groet u...

Posted by Bietje at Friday, November 05, 2004 | Permalink | Comments

HALLO VLAANDEREN

(euh, ik weet dat mijn fanbase nog net niet zo groot is, maar als Salem Segers er ooit in geslaagd is om 50.000 platen te verkopen, mag ik toch wel enige hoop koesteren, niet?)

"Ik kan u met de nodige trots melden dat onze verwoede fitness-inspanningen al hun vruchten beginnen af te werpen. Waar vorige week nog een grote ton Guinness te zien was, dacht ik gisteren al twee onderscheiden helften te ontwaren. De vreugde was echter van korte duur toen bleek dat het gewoon mijn navel was, die na zes maanden opnieuw de kop boven water (euh, Guinness) stak. Ik moet toch al serieus vermagerd zijn: waar een maand geleden mijn volledige middenvinger in mijn navel verdween, ik krijg er nu nog met moeite mijn pink in...

Vorige donderdag mijn 'inductie' gekregen in de gym. Ikke daar naartoe met mijn Monthy Phython-best of in mijn cd-speler ('Sit on my face and tell me that you love me' en 'Penissong'- full lyrics op aanvraag). Komt mijn personal assistant , Rob 'Do you really want to hurt me' O'Brien, naar mij toe. Heb ik die cd maar snel opgeborgen. Toen Rob namelijk na dertig seconden zei dat ik mijn tummy moest inpullen en mijn buttocks squeezen, wist ik genoeg. Don't worry Rob, I'll squeeze me buttocks, just in case. Het is toch godgeklaagd met die gelijkgeaarden. Overal geinfiltreerd. Dienen Dan Brown maar zagen dat de Illuminati de baarlijke duivel zijn. Elio Di Rupo is volgens mij geen Illuminati, maar hij heeft wel de Belgische touwtjes in handen en ik denk dat hij een bezoekje aan 'The George' niet zou afslaan...

Afijn, ik heb vorige week 5 km geroeid (nog 975 en ik ben in Oostende), een hondertal gefietst en kweetniehoeveel gezwommen. Ik heb ook zo'n 13680 lbs. gehoffen, geduwd of gesleept en een 1302 (!) calorieen verbrand. Mijn gewicht is gezakt van 180 lbs. naar 93kg en ik ben gekrompen van 6'1" naar 1.88 meter...

Behoorlijk drukke week trouwens, want ik heb ook mijn Spaans aangescherpt en mij verdiept in de betere Ierse film (In the name of the father, Intermission, Veronica Guerin...). Daarnaast hebben we vorige zaterdag ook Ierland aangemoedigd tijdens hun oververdiende gelijkspel tegen Frankrijk (En zo'n 5000 calorieen aan Guinness achterover geslagen in het hol van de leeuw: Cafe en-Seine). Verder ook tevergeefs geprobeerd kaarten te bemachtigen voor Bill Bailey (cfr. Never mind the buzzcocks), maar 't was uitverkocht en aan Bono duidelijk gemaakt dat hij NIET zijn beste plaat ooit heeft gemaakt, dat 'With or witout you' nog steeds hun beste nummer is en dat gans zijn groepke in geen honderd jaar aan Depeche Mode kan tippen.

Depeche Mode is trouwens behoorlijk 'hot' de dag van vandaag. Marilyn Manson heeft net een kutversie van Personal Jesus uit en maandag wordt 'Enjoy the Silence 2004' op de wereld losgelaten. Het beste nummer uit de jaren 80 (uitgebracht in maart 1990) wordt vakkundig door de mangel gehaald door onder andere Linkin Park en Timo Maas. Ander klassiekers worden bewerkt door Air, Goldfrapp, Portishead, Kruder and Dorfmeister en Underworld. Het feit dat ik zo'n grote DM-fanaat ben doet natuurlijk de geruchten over mijn geaardheid niet afnemen...

Volgende week zullen de renovatiewerken echter even stilliggen, aangezien ik voor enkele dagen naar Kroatie trek om de jongens van Par-Ky Menen een hart onder de riem te steken. Menens beste volleyballen in Zagreb tegen Aalborg (DK), Almere (NL) en uiteraard Zagreb zelf. Ik ben van plan mij in het (heterogene) Zagrebiaanse nachtleven te storten en breng natuurlijk ook uitgebreid verslag uit."

Hasta luego!

Posted by Bietje at Friday, November 05, 2004 | Permalink | Comments

NIEUWEN OASEM

We goan der ier ne kje ne nieuwen droai an geevn!

Yupla!

Posted by Bietje at Friday, November 05, 2004 | Permalink | Comments